my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
