ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
