nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
