Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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