i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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