Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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