it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
