Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
