White coat. Heels.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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