So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Never joke about your clitoris.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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