"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
