North Korea, Best Korea!
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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