So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
