And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize