I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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