Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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