you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
