apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
