in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
