Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
