You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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