K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
