When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
My vagina is officially offended.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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