I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm just crazy horny about you
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
