Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
