Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
