How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
