Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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