The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Another day, another engagement, another cat
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
