Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
