According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
