Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
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