If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
