alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
