i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
