I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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