i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
