Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
