I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
