I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
