I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
