This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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