Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
