I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
