My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
MIDGETS
????
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
