lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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