is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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