is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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