I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
