If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
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