remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize