Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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