wanna go halves on a baby?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
