Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
