At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
