Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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