Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
