he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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