Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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