Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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