you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
