The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize