U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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