from now on my penis is your penis
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
