Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
