i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
