that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize