We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
