life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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