You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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