"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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