So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Acid is not a monday night drug
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Come see our sink grown plant.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I am available for nakedness
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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