Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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